moorrrnnniiinnn!

Good mornin world! I hope this note finds you in good health. I just have to say that this week has been filled with the good and bad. First let me say congrats to PRESIDENT Barak Obama. We dit it! I am so proud that I was alive to be able to witness and take part of such a historic event! Wheeeew.... Anywhoo... God is a trip! (In a good way). I have been strugglin wit Mr X lately. On monday, a group of ppl from our chuch had a lil bible study. He was there with HER and I already knew my night was going to be ruined. I couldn't pay attn and take in what was bein taught so I just said screw it. So bible study was over and by this time I was just cryin cuz I couldn't stand seein them together. So after prayer (while I'm still crying) I just left. My spiritual sis came after me and wouldn't leave till I talked to her. She said some very powerful things and just really spoke to my heart and over my life. Then she told me I just need to talk to him and not have such a hard heart! Wheeew.... I really didn't want to do that cuz Mr X just really makes my heart melt and my pride would not let me do it. Soooo.... He walked out the house and started walking towards me. My first reaction was to just get in my car and leave but neither he nor my sis would let me leave :( all I can say is that she spoke that convo into existence. The good Lord knew what He was doin. He has really been holding me accountable and making me face my "issues" head on.... So me and Mr X had a long talk and really got to the core of what both he and I felt. I have to say that once you let go of your pride, you will realize that things may not be as bad as you think they r. I stilllll have my doubts but I just have to put it in God's hands cuz he knows my heart's true desire. That's all folks! Just needed to vent. Ttyl8r

Peace and Blessings to ya!

hmmmm...

So me and Mr. X had a nice lil chat tonight. Not by choice but it was meant for us to be in the same place at the same time. It was meant for me to walk in the door and see him sittin next to "her" and cut my eyes sooo hard at him. It was meant for me to force myself to sit through bible study although I wanted to turn around and leave as soon as I walked in the door. It was meant for Bible Study to touch my soul and make me really think. It was meant for me to cry and leave after we said a dismissal prayer. It was meant for me to talk to my lil sis about how big sis just couldn't deal wit what she saw.

I guess I have an issue wit pride because this was the prime opportunity to talk to this person but I just couldn't muster up enough balls to be like "look. U piss me off and this is y..." It was meant for him to walk outside and see me wanna run away cuz I didn't wanna talk to him but instead he grabbed and held me until I talked to him. Anyhoo... We had a long talk and all issues were laid out on the table (somewhat. Enough to satisfy me for the moment.) I learned more about him tonight so it gave me a clearer understanding about what was going on. His decision is hard to deal with but I know we both r trying to do right by each other so although I'm still not happy, the decision that was made is what is best for us both right now in order to make our relationship better for us both. When we get sick, we take nasty medication to make ourselves better. The separation (nasty meds) btwn us is going to work out for our good (total healing).

I cried and will probably cry again but I find my comfort in Romans 8:28...

Peace and Blessings to ya.