~*my 23rd bday*~

Yesterday was my 23rd birthday! I didn't do much. Just went to church and ate. Some friends at work gave me money and I got many well wishes from my wonderful customers! I'm at the age now where the huge parties aren't as big of a deal anymore. Just some good quiet time to myself will suffice! However, I always do somethn for my birthday so imma have a lil fish fry today to celebrate my 23 yrs on earth.but yeah... That's about it!

Happy birfday to me!

Peace...

heeeeeeeyyyyy ppl!

Weeeelll.... It has been a while! I hope this msg finds ya in good health! A lot has happened in the last month or so. Where shall I start??

Me and the ex have finally called it quits. Like fa real... I had been with him on and off for 2 years and looking at it now, it wasn't a very healthy situation to be in. I had already started to distance myself from him and had really moved on wit my life, but he msgd me the other day and we actually made it "official". I was somewhat sad for a few reasons. In the msg, he said that he was going overseas to work as a civilian. And then he went on to say that I needed to find someone who will do me the way he did but that he has tried to find someone like me but that didn't work out. Well.... Let me say this b4 I vent on my irritation with him. It was bittersweet because its like, you don't believe something until you see it so seeing it in ink (us breaking up) kinda sealed the deal. Then I was sad, cuz although we had been thru a lot, I was sad he was going overseas cuz I would be devistated if anything were to happen to him. Now.... As far as me findin someone that would "do me like him"... NEVER! Although he and I have had a lot of good times, the BAD outweighed the good. So if I had to find someone like him, I would take some of his qualities and group em with what I'm lookin for in a new guy cuz if I began to explain to the world just exactly what I have been through, I think yall would stone me to death lol... And as far as finding someone like me?! Ummm... No! I am me and there is NONE like me! Anyhoo... With all that being said, I wish him the best of luck in all his endevours....

Ok.... So... I got rid of one of my "friends". He further confirmed for me whhyyyyy I don't date guys more than a year younger than me. I guess he was wantin to jump into a relationship the week after meeting me but I don't do that. I like to get to really know ppl b4 I just jump into a relationship with them, especially after this last relationship. Then this person just started to become too overbearing and needy. A big NO NO in my book. So I will admit, I just became a lil distant because I just don't do the whole "I gotta be around u 24/7" thing... So I guess he got the hint. But the funny part about it is that he all of a sudden is now in a relationship wit someone. My only irritation is that I feel like he was talkn to the girl the whole time we was chillin. I could care less but don't talk BS about "oh... You the girl I think imma marry" and "I'm addicted to your kisses" and so on... And then you all of a sudden cut yo feelins off. My only request is that u just be upfront. He didn't lie to me, but he just held back some important info... With all that said, I do not deal wit pplz children! Best of luck to him. Moving on...

Now, just to make a long story short, I have become closer to one of my male friends. I think we both are crushing on each other but neither of us will admitt it so its just gonna be the big pink elephant in the room till one of us points it out lol. I came to this realization when I went to his house while I was in his neighborhood. It was after midnight so he thought I was caking and he seemed to have got a lil jealous (I was at a party and NOT caking.) so now he has a lil attitude wit me which I think is actually kinda cute :p anywhoo... Let's see where this goes!

Nooowwww.... On to the last guy. He and I been cool and been chillin for a while but lately it seems like we have been gettn closer as well... We both attend the same school and church. We r very involved in the different organizations at the church. We both love to eat, laugh, watch movies, all that stuff. Idk where this one is gonna go either lol... I'm single so I'm just weighing my options and we will see where all this goes!

Yaaaaay! I feel better now that I got to vent. So...

I have taken on the responsibility of starting a choir at my church as well as helping out with the worship team. Pray for me.... I have a lot of knowledge to share and I hope it is received with open arms and ears!

And.....

MY BIRTHDAY IS SUUUNNNDDDAAAYYYYY! I can't wait. Don't have any clue what imma do. All I know is that the mall and Burlington Coat Factory is calling my name and I shall answer! Lol

That's it!

Peace and Blessings :p

moorrrnnniiinnn!

Good mornin world! I hope this note finds you in good health. I just have to say that this week has been filled with the good and bad. First let me say congrats to PRESIDENT Barak Obama. We dit it! I am so proud that I was alive to be able to witness and take part of such a historic event! Wheeeew.... Anywhoo... God is a trip! (In a good way). I have been strugglin wit Mr X lately. On monday, a group of ppl from our chuch had a lil bible study. He was there with HER and I already knew my night was going to be ruined. I couldn't pay attn and take in what was bein taught so I just said screw it. So bible study was over and by this time I was just cryin cuz I couldn't stand seein them together. So after prayer (while I'm still crying) I just left. My spiritual sis came after me and wouldn't leave till I talked to her. She said some very powerful things and just really spoke to my heart and over my life. Then she told me I just need to talk to him and not have such a hard heart! Wheeew.... I really didn't want to do that cuz Mr X just really makes my heart melt and my pride would not let me do it. Soooo.... He walked out the house and started walking towards me. My first reaction was to just get in my car and leave but neither he nor my sis would let me leave :( all I can say is that she spoke that convo into existence. The good Lord knew what He was doin. He has really been holding me accountable and making me face my "issues" head on.... So me and Mr X had a long talk and really got to the core of what both he and I felt. I have to say that once you let go of your pride, you will realize that things may not be as bad as you think they r. I stilllll have my doubts but I just have to put it in God's hands cuz he knows my heart's true desire. That's all folks! Just needed to vent. Ttyl8r

Peace and Blessings to ya!

hmmmm...

So me and Mr. X had a nice lil chat tonight. Not by choice but it was meant for us to be in the same place at the same time. It was meant for me to walk in the door and see him sittin next to "her" and cut my eyes sooo hard at him. It was meant for me to force myself to sit through bible study although I wanted to turn around and leave as soon as I walked in the door. It was meant for Bible Study to touch my soul and make me really think. It was meant for me to cry and leave after we said a dismissal prayer. It was meant for me to talk to my lil sis about how big sis just couldn't deal wit what she saw.

I guess I have an issue wit pride because this was the prime opportunity to talk to this person but I just couldn't muster up enough balls to be like "look. U piss me off and this is y..." It was meant for him to walk outside and see me wanna run away cuz I didn't wanna talk to him but instead he grabbed and held me until I talked to him. Anyhoo... We had a long talk and all issues were laid out on the table (somewhat. Enough to satisfy me for the moment.) I learned more about him tonight so it gave me a clearer understanding about what was going on. His decision is hard to deal with but I know we both r trying to do right by each other so although I'm still not happy, the decision that was made is what is best for us both right now in order to make our relationship better for us both. When we get sick, we take nasty medication to make ourselves better. The separation (nasty meds) btwn us is going to work out for our good (total healing).

I cried and will probably cry again but I find my comfort in Romans 8:28...

Peace and Blessings to ya.

Obama 08!

Sooooo.... I voted this morning! It was so awesome from beginning to end. I didn't want to stand in line long so I got to the polls around 7:15. Once I figured out where to go, it was about 7:25. So I walked inside and the way they had the line set up, it went up stairs and throughout the building. At the point when I got there, I only had about 20 or so ppl in front of me so I was doing great. I brought a book to read but really didn't need it cuz the ppl around me were very talkative so it kept me alert (along with my vanilla late from starbucks!) So basically, once the polls opened at 8, the line was moving veerrryyy fast. I went in, filled out the little paper, then I got my yellow card! I put it in the slot and guess who I picked for president?! I finished up and came on back to the house! It was awesome to know that I played a part in making history!!!!!! Whoot whoot! Now, imma just wait till tuesday so I can sit home and watch all the news stations announce that the new president of the United States of America iiisss... BARAK OBAMA!

good mornin world!

Well... I'm on my way to class. I always dread this class cuz: 1. its 8 in the durn mornin! 2. I haaattteee my teacher. Its a spanish class and I usually enjoy it. As a matter of fact its my minor. But this woman is an atrocity to teachers. The thought of her teaching someone elses child is a scary feeling! But anyhoo... It won't last long cuz I'm leaving as soon as my group finishes our presentation. Then I'm on my way to the AAAAAA (atlanta that is!) to se my family. It has been waaaaaayyyy too long. I'm just super excited! Wheeeww... I can get away from statesboro for a while cuz ppl down here jus know how to ruuubbb me the wrong way! Ugghhh... But there r a few who help me keep my sanity :p anyhoo... I'm gonna go to class now. I'm sure we will chat again later today! Ttyl8r...

Peace and Blessings to ya :p

uugghhh...

So... Let me start off by sayin... FOLLOW YOUR GUT INSTINCT PPL!

I msg Mr. X (same person from the 2nd blog entry) on his cell phone cuz I felt like he was pullin back from me and I hate when ppl come in my life then just start to leave. His "excuse" is that he jus been wantin sex real bad for a while and he is really tryin to do right so he doesn't want to use me just for sex. He wants to spend time with me but I guess because of the sexual tension btwn us, its best for us to not be in such close quarters with each other. I wonder if that is the real reason or if its because he got anotha "friend" and is pulling away so he won't "hurt me". I say this because I ride past his house everyday on my way to class and this particular time I saw "her" car. I been a lil iffy about this girl cuz I feel like she is the real reason y me and Mr. X aint close like we used to be. She supposedly has a boyfriend but... Well yeah... U get my point. I just don't know guys! And theennnn.... I don't think he is completely over his ex. I'm just gon leave it at that cuz I could go on for days about this crazy chick. Anywhoo...

After my convo wit Mr. X, it confirmed a few things then it just confused me even more! So I don't know what to do. Maybe this is happenin to push me closer to Mr. Z. Maybe Mr. X aint the one for me??? I'm just going to leave my options open and pray for the best.

I'm done now. Have an awesome day world!

Peace and Blessings to ya!

the so called "saints"...

I tell you... I really got a dose of reality last night. I am not going to name names or call out any particular organization but some ppl really showed their true colors. I must reiterate to the world that you MUST be careful what you say and where you say it. You never know who is around and who knows who. Its funny how the "saints" will "hehe & haha" and be all smiles in ya face but then the minute you turn your back, they drag u through the mud. But its all gravy becuz we ministered and I believe that God used us to touch one person and that is/and was our goal. It is not about competition. If one person's life was touched then our job was done. That's all... Just needed to vent!

Peace and Blessings to ya!

Cant sleep :( gotchu on my mind!

Soooo world... As I begin to write this blog, it is 1:15am. My day was no different from any other (except I didn't go to class) but I usually go to class, come home and take a nap, then get up and finish out my day. Today was somewhat busy but nothn out of the ordinary. Took my usual naps (yes... NAPS! I take more than one a day.) But for some reason I can't go back to sleep. Thought it was cuz I couldn't go back to sleep cuz of my naps but I think its a different reason...

I can't get "him" off my mind. For the sake of this note, we will call him X. I had the pleasure of meeting X through a mutual friend. They came to my job. I peeped him. He peeped me and that was how our "love" story began lol... Anyhoo, me and X just been super cool ever since then. It seems as if he is everything I want in a man. He is soooo in love wit God that it makes me wanna step my game up. X is very involved with his church. He is a family man. Loves his family tooooo death! No kids! I repeat... NO KIDS! Don't get me wrong, Daddies need love too but I just haven't had any luck wit that. Anyway... X just got a lot goin for him and I love his passion and drive. He got goals!

So, X and I chill on a regular basis. We eat dinner together, we cook breakfast for each other (get ya mind right. I go over in the mornin after class and I cook bacon and eggs. He cooks pancakes), just good ol friends. But I want more than that. I'm ok with our relationship now but I jus want more :p he knows I like him and I THINK he has feelings for me but I'm scared to REEEEAAALLLALLYYYY put myself out there cuz I don't do well wit rejection so I think that's y I just try to keep it just as "friends" btwn us. But yeah... I'm crushin hard and don't know what to do!!!! And theeeennnnnnn...

I met this new fella. He will be called Z. He is sooooo sweet and is a momma's boy to the core. Goes to church and plays football like X (both X and Z are good fb players). I'm kinda feelin him too. We also cook for each other (well... Moreso him than me lol) and he knows that's the way to my heart! A good ol homecooked meal! Z is just an all around cool dude and I could see persuing somethn wit him as well but I'm tooorrrnnnnn!

Help me out world...

Imma try to go to sleep now.

Peace & Blessings to ya...

GNite.

greetings!

Hellloooooo world! How the heck r ya?? Well... This is my first time using this blog thing. I was inspired by a friend of mine who just recently started his. I find that writing out my thoughts and feelings are the best therapy for me so my notes will probably range from super silly to like super serious so here I am world! I hope you will join me on this journey through life. Peace and Blessings to ya!