So me and Mr. X had a nice lil chat tonight. Not by choice but it was meant for us to be in the same place at the same time. It was meant for me to walk in the door and see him sittin next to "her" and cut my eyes sooo hard at him. It was meant for me to force myself to sit through bible study although I wanted to turn around and leave as soon as I walked in the door. It was meant for Bible Study to touch my soul and make me really think. It was meant for me to cry and leave after we said a dismissal prayer. It was meant for me to talk to my lil sis about how big sis just couldn't deal wit what she saw.
I guess I have an issue wit pride because this was the prime opportunity to talk to this person but I just couldn't muster up enough balls to be like "look. U piss me off and this is y..." It was meant for him to walk outside and see me wanna run away cuz I didn't wanna talk to him but instead he grabbed and held me until I talked to him. Anyhoo... We had a long talk and all issues were laid out on the table (somewhat. Enough to satisfy me for the moment.) I learned more about him tonight so it gave me a clearer understanding about what was going on. His decision is hard to deal with but I know we both r trying to do right by each other so although I'm still not happy, the decision that was made is what is best for us both right now in order to make our relationship better for us both. When we get sick, we take nasty medication to make ourselves better. The separation (nasty meds) btwn us is going to work out for our good (total healing).
I cried and will probably cry again but I find my comfort in Romans 8:28...
Peace and Blessings to ya.
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